You see, I have promise that after I finish school I must get the money and go to study the illustration in The One Academy, but now I change, change the college, it become Dasein.
I say that I must collect the money in 1 until 2 years, but now, I think that maybe in 3 years i still can't college enough money.
And I consider that I will not change my thinking although I working already, no matter how many years but I will insist my decision.
But just a few of month! Just a few of month! I start to have some thinking like maybe I can working forever without go to study, I have to give up my life, my everything.
And I start insomnia, every night I go off into wild flights of fancy, I crying and I go crazy, I asking myself, what I want? What I can do? But no answer! No any answer!
This make me crazy! It let me want to finish my life.......
I just a human, just a girl, I thought that i'm so strong ever, but now all of this certify i'm a coward, I just know that how to escape when I face the difficult.
Now, I also don't know what is the I want, but I know that the work of mine now, not the thing I want and the life of now, I also don't want.
I want to change! Change all of this, I want find what is the thing I want!
Actually this is so difficult, but I decided that I don't want to escape again, I have to colour my life let it become colourful and beautiful.
My life not just working or without work also work, I want to do the thing I want!
I have to find my dream and realize it, let it become truth let it become a part of the thing in my life!
Everything of past tense is change......
Everything of now I have to change!
Change it become the life I want, become my happiness!!!!!!!!!!
