Melancholia...

Sometime I will distrust that isn't it I have melancholia?
Because I always think in negative...

But now...
I think I release already...

Maybe thinking of negative don't disappear,
But it's reduce to come out.

I can't promise that this status will continue or become more positive,
But I will cheer to keep this status quo.

Everything I must cheer up to change it,
The negative thinking must change to positive,
The study must be more concentration,
English, Add.math, Science, Sejarah, Malay, etc...

Nothing can don't be serious to do,
Also life,
Must more serious,
More earnest.

So I will more serious,
More earnest to make my life become more beautiful and more colourful~

It's my life!
Blessing you...

Emotion...

Something I want to say...
But what can I say?

Today is my birthday...
I know that is the Chinese New Year also,
My family don't know,
And I don't institute.

Nevermind,
I don't care,
Because every year,
I don't celebrate my birthday.

But I think today I full of emotional...
I just want to cry,
I just want somebody to hear me talk,
I just want somebody to keep company with me...

I don't have any friend that I can tell my secret to them,
But if there is,
I think I also don't  nerve to relate.

I just want to cry,
And I also really cry.

I take bath in bathroom,
I had a intention,
A bad intention,
Maybe too more emotion,
So I had this intention...

I want to end my life...
And I will more relax,
I will never ever face to this world,
Every thing in this world,
Troublesome things...

And I use my nail,
Try to have a wound on my wrist.
Try to end my life.

The first time,
I stroke my wrist gently,
Slowly and contribute...
And have the second time, third time,four time...

I don't know what pain is...
I can't feel the pain in that time...
I don't scare to finish my life,
I don't know what scare is...

Too more emotion,
Too more terrible...
But I don't scare it...

Happy New Year~

It's holiday now~~
What are you doing now?

This holiday is for New Year,
Are you going your home and eat with your family?

Happy New Year~
I say to everybody~
New year is a good holiday,
We can get on together with family at distant place.

Now I in Pahang,
With my family have a Happy New Year,
Eat together,
Play together,
Chat together~

And now?
What are you doing now?
Haven't go home?
Have you miss your family?

Faster going home~
I think they must very miss you,
Don't torment they already,
Faster going home and undue a happy new year with  them~

Happy New Year~
Blessing you~

Let go...

I think I can brave to face it now,
I believe that your life is more good than me,
And I can relieved to let go.

This is the last time I believe,
To my own believe,
With my confidence,
In order to you.

Your life become colourful,
Your life make me surprised,
Your life let me decide.

I can let it go,
I can let me go.

Feel more relax now,
Put down and be happy.

Blessing you...

To be or not to be, that is the question.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Many thing I want to do,
But I don't make sure that is true or fault after I do it.

But now,
I make sure have a thing that I must to do,
I must learn hardly now~

So...
I want to go to my bed and sleep already~~
Good night~

And...
Blessing you~

I can't control myself...

I try to control myself,
But I can't control,
I lose to control it,
It is a winner now ,
And I became a loser...

I can't control my thinking,
My brain don't had a minute to stop thinking,
I felt tired too much...

Include now,
My brain also don't have a second to get a rest.

It like a joke,
Every time I say that I don't care and I will more mind it,
So satire right?
What a satire joke!

Become more crazy,
Can't stop it already,
It is so horrible right?

Too much terrible...

How is my life?

Life is mountains is warping.
But how about my life?

How is my life?
Sleep, eat, play, study?
What I study now?

I study how to adapt loneliness,
I study how to adapt alone,
I study how to live in a person life...

Now feel alone,
Now feel loneliness,
And?
How can I do?

Cry?
Shout?
Blame?

Never mind lah~
This is my life,
I can learn how to endure~

Now I think I have a life that not so enrich,
But I will cheer to make it become more enrich,
This maybe is my wish,
But I will action and realize it.

Excite inferior to action,
I will start it tomorrow,
Hope me succeed.

Blessing you...